


Your Hands and My Spare Time

by sunflowersapphic



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, Artist Ernst, Hanschen catches feelings, I'm not even sure if that will be mentioned but I need you to know that He Is Trans, Law Student Hanschen, M/M, Modern AU, Non-Explicit Sex, trans Ernst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-07 05:53:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5445647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowersapphic/pseuds/sunflowersapphic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where it ends up is far from where it started, but at this point they could care less.</p><p>Hanschen went in with the intention of having one fun night. Ernst went in with the intention of putting himself out there for once in his life. Both end up more thoroughly invested than originally intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's starting another multichapter fic because they can't help it.  
> (it's me)  
> Not sure how long this one will go as there are currently no concrete plans, but I love working with these two gay losers so however this ends up it'll be a fun ride!

The first time they actually meet each other is at another one of Melchior’s swanky parties, probably to celebrate the release of another one of his books or something. Both men had attended all the ones Melchi had thrown in the past, paths crossing without either one realizing or caring. It takes months and dozens of parties until Ernst unintentionally catches Hanschen’s eye. Through the low piano jazz and the roar of conversations happening all across the loft, somehow Hanschen manages to zero in on the lanky brunet that is Ernst Robel. There is something about his bright smile and attentive eyes that is captivating in a way Hanschen cannot quite describe. He watches him hold a few conversations before finally making the decision that yes, he absolutely must speak to this man. Or, at the very least, sleep with him.

Hanschen smoothly makes his way through the crowd, giving charming smiles where needed to move people aside and get himself from point A to point B as quickly as possible. As soon as Hanschen reaches Ernst he turns on the charm, leaning against a table and flashing a dazzling smile. Ernst does not immediately look at him, continuing his conversation with the small brunette girl beside him—if there is one thing Ernst Robel always remembers, it is his manners. This is a problem for Hanschen, who is not used to being ignored. He clears his throat and then quickly takes a sip of the drink he is holding, trying to hide the blatant plea for attention.

Ernst seems more startled than anything, and he turns to Hanschen with what could only be described as a jump. “Oh! Er, yes? Hello?” _Oh, God, he’s even cuter when he speaks_ , Hanschen thinks.

Hanschen smiles at the girl sympathetically and she rolls her eyes, briefly telling Ernst she would talk to him later as she departs. “Hanschen Rilow,” the blond holds his hand out, keeping his voice low and sultry. “I noticed you from all the way over there—,” He gestures, “—and I knew it would just drive me crazy all night if I didn’t come introduce myself.”

There is a moment of hesitation before Ernst takes the hand and shakes it, his smile polite as ever. “Ernst Robel, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

There’s an awkward pause during which Hanschen realizes he didn’t have a plan.

The brunet clears his throat slightly, cheeks taking on a pink color. He glances down and swirls his drink around in its class, searching his mind for something to say.

Hanschen mentally reminds himself why he came over in the first place and breaks the insufferable silence that is stretching on. “I’d like to get to know you a bit better, Ernst. Shall we take this to the balcony?” He places his hand on the small of the other man’s back and leads them out to Melchior’s balcony that overlooks the city. With all the light pollution you can’t see the stars very well, but the gorgeous lights of Manhattan just might make up for it, Hanschen thinks. It sets the mood well enough. He slides the glass door shut behind them, dulling the noise of the party.

Ernst rests his elbows on the railing and leans forward, looking out at the city. He feels Hanschen move in next to him at the railing, so close Ernst swear they are touching. Nervous energy spikes in his core—no matter how attractive this stranger may be, he is still a stranger. He focuses his attention on the city below them instead.

“It’s awfully gorgeous, isn’t it?” Ernst smiles, words soft. “The city, that is.”

Hanschen gives a disinterested hum in response. “I suppose it is. I’m afraid I’ve grown a bit used to it all at this point, though.”

There is genuine confusion in his voice when Ernst replies. “How could you ever grow used to something so beautiful?”

“You grow used to everything you’re frequently exposed to, don’t you? I mean, you’re not in awe of every pretty sunset you witness.” He punctuates the statement with an eye roll.

The lengthy, awkward pause tells Hanschen that Ernst is, in fact, in awe of every sunset he sees. Ernst glances down and bites his lip and his face is illuminated just enough for Hanschen to see the embarrassed look on his face. If Hanschen were a good person he might feel guilty about it. The blonde just sighs heavily and takes a long drink from his glass. Subject change time. “So what is it you do? For a living, that is.”

“I’m an artist!” Ernst blurts out, demeanor changing almost immediately. He seems to notice that Hanschen is considerably less excited than he is about this and makes a mental note to pull back a little. “I mean, like, a visual artist. Because there are lots of types of art, you know. Drama, music, visual art…” he ticks off a few more before settling into silence. “Anyway, I work on the visual end of things.” He grins, proud. Hanschen notes how enthused he seems to be about his field. “I paint personal projects, get commissioned for some fun projects sometimes.” He shrugs. “It’s a nice life. And you?”

Hanschen’s posture visibly straightens. Ernst wonders for a moment what he’s gotten himself into. “Currently in law school. Planning on becoming the best damn defense attorney Manhattan has ever seen.” Ernst giggles at that, and it takes everything in Hanschen to keep from looking offended. Apparently he does not do a very good job at that.

“I’m sorry, I just—the way you said that, with your facial expression and… _everything_. It was cute.” Ernst places a hand on Hanschen’s. He feels the other man stiffen but does not retract. “I didn’t mean to laugh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Hanschen huffs. “Don’t think anything of it. I didn’t.” He did, but who admits that to the person they’re trying to woo? Speaking of wooing, Hanschen becomes acutely aware at that moment that he’s doing an awful job at it. He gives the moment adequate time to pass before speaking. “You’re awfully handsome, Ernst; do you happen to be attached to anyone at the moment?”

Ernst nearly chokes on his drink. “Well, you’re rather blunt. But no, not currently.” Or ever, for that matter.

“Then, would you be at all opposed to joining me back at my apartment this evening?”

Hanschen cannot remember a time he has seen anyone as embarrassed as Ernst in this moment.

“Oh, god! I-I mean, you—,” He stutters for a moment and tries to collect himself. “I would prefer it if you at least took me on a proper date first.”

Not exactly as planned, but Hanschen has done worst things in order to sleep with someone.

“Fair enough. Does that mean you’re agreeing to a date, then?” Another classically Hanschen smile crosses his features as he watches Ernst think it over.

“Yes, yes I guess so,” Ernst smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reference Ernst as being taller than Hanschen in this chapter and that's because tall, lanky Ernst and short, stocky Hanschen give me life so I'm pushing that on you all >:)

Ernst is preparing for the date when he gets the text message from Hanschen. It is short and sweet, telling Ernst how much the other man is looking forward to the night. How he “can’t wait”. There are a few emojis accompanying the message, which is somewhere between confusing and cute. Ernst can’t tell whether Hanschen is actually as enthused as he sounds or if he’s just trying to spare Ernst’s feelings. Everyone always leaves nights at Melchior’s in a haze, and Ernst is having trouble remembering if the beautiful blond man he met last night seemed genuinely interested or if the alcohol blurred his perception. Either way, he figures one date can’t hurt. He anxiously adjusts the collar of his shirt, assessing himself in the mirror. Tilts his chin, carefully examines his jawline; a boost of confidence runs through him as he does so. A quick glance at the clock tells Ernst that he should be leaving soon, so he grabs his coat and keys and heads out the door and towards whatever awaits.

* * *

 

In an apartment not too far from Ernst’s, Hanschen is going through the usual motions of date preparation. Shower, shave, style hair. Make the bedroom not only “presentable”, but worthy of taking someone back to. For all he knows they could end up at Ernst’s place, but if he remembers correctly Hanschen believes he shares it with a roommate—and roommates were less than ideal for nights like this. Once satisfied he flicks the lights off and leaves, the assumption that he will be not be gone for long lingering in the back of his mind.

* * *

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been taken somewhere so nice for a date before…” Ernst glances around the restaurant, eyes wide.

Hanschen smiles, visibly pleased with himself. “Can I take that as a good thing?”

“Yes?” Ernst sighs softly. “It’s a little nerve-wracking, honestly. I’m afraid I’ll do something embarrassing.” His laugh is casual, but there is a nervous air to it.

Hanschen raises an eyebrow. “What about the parties Melchior hosts? You seemed perfectly at ease. That’s not too different of an atmosphere.”

The brunet shakes his head. “No, see, I’m just good at acting like I’m comfortable. You learn how to do that when you’re anxious your whole life.” He shrugs, playing it off lightly with a sip of his wine. Hanschen wonders if he makes light of all his issues like this, seeing as that is the second time that night for something to be brushed off. “But it’s fine! It’s something I’m going to have to get used to, I think. People seem to expect it of me now, being that I run in the circles I do. I never thought that the art scene could get so….” Ernst gestures vaguely. “Swanky?”

Hanschen laughs audibly, and a blush rises in Ernst’s cheeks. The moment settles and both wonder if they’re doing something wrong. The silence stretches on for a little too long before salvation comes in the form of a waiter coming by to refill their glasses with more wine. As soon as he leaves both men take a long drink, hiding behind the alcohol.

Ernst sets his glass down and begins running his finger lightly around the rim. There is something about the carefulness and dexterity of his movements that is stirring something in Hanschen. He watches Ernst carefully for a moment before the other man notices, glancing up from the glass and blushing.

“I’m sorry, that’s probably rude, isn’t it?” Ernst chuckles awkwardly, letting his hands fall into his lap.

Hanschen leans in and smiles, his voice lowered. “Absolutely not. Even if it is, it isn’t of any importance. I found it endearing. Entrancing, even.”

This evokes a shy smile accompanied by a light blush from Ernst. That is the moment that Hanschen knows he’s already got what he wanted.

* * *

 

As expected, they do end up back at Hanschen’s place; more specifically, they end up getting hot and heavy in the entryway. By the time they reach the apartment the tension building between the two is palpable. The only thing keeping them apart from one another seemed to be the possibility of prying eyes. As soon as the door is locked behind them they are all over one another, hands and mouths wandering to new and exciting places.

Hanschen presses himself against Ernst and there is a gasp that sounds different than anything he has heard come from a partner. It sounds like birdsong, light and airy and full of life. He reaches up to begin work on unbuttoning Ernst’s shirt and that is where things come to a halt. The brunet jerks back, forcing Hanschen’s hand away from his collar. His breathing is suddenly shallower, and his eyes—now avoiding meeting Hanschen’s—have taken on a look that could only be described as panicked.

Something is wrong.

Hanschen’s brow furrows and he pulls back, giving what he feels is proper space. “Is everything alright?”

That, apparently, is not a question Ernst wants to answer any time soon, given by the look on his face. “Y-yes, I just…” He sighs deeply, closes his eyes. The words spill out of his mouth and Hanschen is struggling to follow it all. “I thought I was ready for this tonight but I’m not and there are a few things I like to discuss with partners before this step is taken and I let myself get carried away because you’re so handsome and everything about you is so intriguing to me but—,” A deep breath as he settles himself. “—I’m not ready and I hope you can understand that.” He glances down and plays with the hem of Hanschen’s shirt as he waits for a response. “That was a lot. I apologize.”

It takes a moment for Hanschen to process everything, but as soon as he does he leans up to kiss Ernst’s cheek lightly, smiling. “I understand. You don’t even have to stay here tonight if you don’t want. Your comfort comes first.”

Ernst wraps his arms around Hanschen’s neck, beaming. “Thank you,” His words are muffled, as they come from where Ernst’s face is buried in Hanschen’s neck.

Perhaps this was going to take more than one date. Nothing Hanschen hadn’t faced before.

* * *

 

Ernst does end up staying the night, and in the same bed as Hanschen, no less. The brunet is the first to awake the next morning, and before he can even think of leaving the bed his partner rolls over to face him and he is greeted with the heavenly sight that is Hanschen Rilow in the early morning glow. Between the smattering of freckles and the golden blond hair, there is something about the man that invokes images of Greek gods in Ernst’s mind. He thinks that one day, provided Hanschen permits it, he would like to paint him. Perhaps more than once. Perhaps a whole series of paintings.

 _Perhaps you are getting carried away_ , he reminds himself.

The clock tells him that he has slept later than he has all week, which could be considered a positive in the minds of others. To Ernst, a late start means less time to finish work he has already been putting off. Images of empty canvasses fill his mind and that’s all the motivation he needs to leave. Reluctantly, he slips out of bed and searches in the bedside table drawers for a pen and paper. He writes a quick note thanking Hanschen for the night out (and his hospitality) and signs it, folds it, and leaves it where he knows it will be found. Ernst smiles as he gives the man in the bed a final look before making his way out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first of all I am beyond sorry that I took so long to update! This chapter took forever to find itself and aside from plain old writer's block I've been incredibly busy with schoolwork and just life in general! I hope to be updating faster now that I've gained momentum again. I believe this is also the longest chapter, though, coming in at about 1,800 words, so? Hopefully that'll make up for my absence a little.!

Hanschen cannot tell if Ernst is avoiding him or just genuinely busy, and that is possibly the worst part of it all. He has left just the right amount of voice mails and texts to let Ernst know he is interested but not enough to seem too eager—he’s got a formula figured out that works very well, thank you very much. Yet he still has not heard anything from the anxious artist since the note he left after their night together. This is new for Hanschen, and it feels rather unsettling.

He is beginning to think that maybe Ernst will be a lot of new things for him.

Since Ernst seems to require something a little different than normal Hanschen figures that maybe a different approach would be okay. As he’s in line for coffee he drafts another text and sends it. Hanschen’s chest tightens a bit and he takes a deep breath to dispel the feeling. He must really need this coffee.

* * *

 

Lying face down on his tiny couch in his tiny apartment, Ernst Robel groans loudly as another text comes through to his phone. Probably Wendla again, trying to get more details out of him about the night he spent with Hanschen. No matter how many times he tells her that _nothing happened_ , she seems to be under the impression that if she asks just one more time maybe the story will have changed. Moritz Stiefel, his roommate, grabs his phone before Ernst can pull himself from the couch.

“What exactly are you doing, anyway? You’ve been like that for hours.” Moritz talks in tandem as he begins to unlock Ernst’s phone, not looking up from the small screen.

“It’s part of the artistic process?” Ernst offers, adjusting his head so he can see his roommate. “Is it Wendla?”

Moritz shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing. “Hanschen. Is that the guy you were out with the other night?”

Immediately, Ernst’s eyes widen and he practically leaps off the couch, snatching the phone from Moritz. “No! I mean, yes, but it was totally casual!” He scans the text quickly, keeping the phone out of Moritz’s reach. God knows the teasing Ernst would suffer if _he_ were to get ahold of it.

_Out for coffee, wondering if you’d like to come along some time. I know a place I think you’d enjoy. Let me know.—H_

Ernst feels his face flush. He hadn’t expected any kind of follow up from Hanschen but the numerous texts and voice mails from the other man were proving him wrong. He looks up from his phone to see Moritz with a classic Stiefel smirk on his face.

“Was it a dick pic?” He asks.

Ernst practically screams.

“No! What are you—? No, of course not! Why are you always so obscene?!” Ernst buries his face in his hands, trying to will the blush from his face. “He just wants to get coffee is all. Maybe I left something at his place, he’s probably trying to return it.”

Moritz rolls his eyes. “Oh my God, you have to stop thinking like that. He’s asking you out on another date, Ernst. He _likes_ you. Why are you being so weird about him?”

Ernst takes a seat on the couch, worrying his lip for a moment. “I don’t know. I almost slept with him—well, technically we slept together, we just didn’t have sex. I almost _had sex with him_ , and then just took off the next morning. I left a note but I mean…” He lets the thought trail into the air. “I’m embarrassed, I think?”

Moritz raises one of his thick eyebrows. “So? It’s not a big deal, E, people do that shit all the time. This is so much more minor than you’re making it out to be. You said you liked him, right?” He waits for Ernst to nod before continuing. “Then suck it up and go to coffee with him. It’s _fine_.”

Ernst considers this for a moment before carefully typing a reply, trying twice before finally settling on something.

_Sounds great! Let me know when n where. I’ll be waiting! :)_

“Okay, there, I sent it!” Ernst tosses his phone across the couch as if it physically pains him to touch it.

“I’m proud of you, E,” Moritz grins and flops down beside Ernst, reaching up to ruffle his friend’s hair. “You’re growing up!”

* * *

 

Three days later, the coffee date goes better than either of them expect it to. Hanschen apologizes for his fast pace, Ernst explains his reservations. Explains his identity as a transgender man, and how some people have reacted less than kindly to that. Upon being met with more kindness than the last three men he went out with showed him combined, Ernst finds himself holding back tears. They both decide it’s safe to say the date goes well.

So well, in fact, that they end up at Ernst’s apartment, throwing themselves onto the couch as soon as they get the chance. Ernst assures Hanschen that his roommate—whose name Hanschen cannot even recall—is gone, but at this point they are both too wrapped up in each other too even care if they did have company. As Hanschen trails kisses down the smooth length of Ernst’s neck he can feel the boy squirm beneath him. It is both satisfying and extremely frustrating all at once. Ernst reaches up and tangles his fingers in Hanschen’s hair, and it seems the only noises he is capable of making are gasps and murmurs that only serve to tease Hanschen even further.

Hanschen leans in to suggest quietly that they take it to the bedroom and that’s all the prompting Ernst needs. He gives an almost too enthusiastic nod and grabs Hanschen’s hand as they untangle themselves and head towards his room.

Hanschen notices the tight feeling from before blooming once again in his chest as Ernst glances back to smile at him. He can’t quite place it, but something tells Hanschen that what the boy reminds him of is the sun. Between the warmth that comes with close proximity to him and the light that practically radiates from him, Ernst bears quite the resemblance to the celestial body.

Hanschen sheds the feeling with his clothing as they enter the room.

* * *

 

Hanschen has always found it rather annoying when a partner falls asleep after sex, but something about Ernst makes the act seem more endearing than anything else.

 _Everything about Ernst is endearing_ , he thinks.

He also thinks, immediately after, how utterly disgusting that sounds.

He waits to make sure Ernst is actually asleep before slipping out from the bed, heading in search of a glass of water. He realizes as he wanders through the living room that he never got a proper look at the space. Scattered here and there are canvasses and various painting tools. It’s reminiscent of the kind of pretentious faux-artistic photos his photographer friends at university take; everything looks out of place, but somehow perfectly aligned. It’s a bit cluttered for his own taste, but it is so predictably Ernst. He is reaching for a sketchbook that is lying on the coffee table when he hears the padding of Ernst’s footsteps entering the room.

“I thought you were sleeping,” Hanschen quickly pulls back and straightens himself.

Ernst yawns and _fuck, that’s cute_ , Hanschen thinks. “I was, but my heat source left the bed. Were you about to—?” He gestures to the sketchbook on the table.

“Of course not. That would have been a violation of privacy, would it not?” It’s not necessarily a _lie_ ; he had still been considering the action when Ernst interrupted him.

Ernst nods and his features take on a contemplative look. He eyes the blond before him for a moment, eyes sweeping up and down the muscular frame.

“Is everything—,”

“Hanschen, I’d like to try something,” Ernst lets the blanket drop to the ground and makes his way around the room, gathering up a handful of brushes, tubes of paint, and a palette, “I’m going to need your help, though.”

“That depends on what it is,” Hanschen raises an eyebrow, thoroughly confused and charmed.

Ernst points to a space on the throw rug. “Lay down, please. On your stomach.”

There is hesitation, but Hanschen does as he’s told. He was already standing naked before Ernst, there’s really no way to possibly make himself more vulnerable. He settles himself, crossing his arms under his head, and listens to Ernst hum absently as he prepares… whatever it is he’s preparing.

“Do you mind if I, um, sit on you?” Ernst asks, obviously sheepish.

Hanschen refrains from making the obvious joke. “Of course. Are you going to tell me what you’re doing…?”

“You’ll know.”

Ernst settles himself cautiously on Hanschen’s backside, and it takes a moment before anything happens. After a few seconds of silence and virtually no movement, Hanschen feels what is unmistakably a paintbrush thick with paint on his back.

“Are you painting me?” He grins as the sensation continues.

“I’ve got to say, that took you an awful long time to figure out. You’d think all the paint supplies would give it away.” Ernst chuckles and continues his work.

“Do you do this with everyone you sleep with?” Hanschen is genuinely curious. Artists are an odd bunch, after all.

“Mmm, no, you’re the first. I’ve never really _wanted_ to do this with anyone else.” He pauses to mix colors. “Something about you makes me want to paint more than I’ve wanted to in a while.”

Hanschen hums, closing his eyes. “And you’re sure your roommate won’t be coming back anytime soon?”

“Moritz? Oh, no, he’s at Melchior’s. Which means he won’t be back for at least another day.” There’s fondness in his voice, and a light air of teasing.

“The same Melchior I know?” Hanschen asks.

“Who else in Manhattan has a name like that?” Ernst laughs, changing to a new brush. “So yes, same Melchi.”

Hanschen knew there was always an air of mystery surrounding Melchior’s romantic and sexual partners, but he never would have assumed it would be in order to hide a boyfriend. “So they’re just fucking, or…?”

Ernst shrugs, pauses. “Melchior and Moritz are a lot of things. Sleeping with each other is only a small part of whatever they do.”

They fall into silence as Ernst focuses on his work. Hanschen finds himself relaxed enough to slip into a half-asleep state. The further into the silence they fall, the more Hanschen begins to feel as if he knows Ernst better than he actually does. Between the painting and the way Ernst grips Hanschen’s shoulder to keep balance there is an electric intimacy building between the two of them. He finds himself disappointed when Ernst finally stands.

“I’m going to go get my camera to take a few pictures, if that’s alright. After that you’re free to shower it off.” Ernst leaves and Hanschen feels the absence almost tangibly, despite the fact that he is only a room over.

The tightness rears its ugly head once again, and Hanschen realizes finally that it is a mixture of fondness, anxiety, and longing.

This is not something he quite knows how to handle. He supposes it is something he will have to learn to figure out.


	4. good indeed

The feeling turns out to be something Hanschen has to learn to deal with rather quickly, as it turns out, as Ernst sits him down not three days after their impromptu painting session to discuss the F word.

The F word being, of course, “future”.

They’re at a small coffee shop somewhere in the heart of downtown—Hanschen remembers Ernst saying it was his favorite. There are a million questions he wants to ask him about it. How did he find it? What’s his favorite drink here? Favorite place to sit? Hanschen waves each question aside, however, with the realization that they’re only there to serve as distractions from what is actually happening.

Ernst takes a long sip of his hot cocoa—with an added pump of vanilla, an important detail—and bites his lip. “I didn’t want to put you on the spot like this, I just…,” He trails off. “I like you, Hanschen. A lot. Probably an embarrassing amount.” Hanschen laughs softly at that. “But I can’t shake the feeling that we’re just not looking for the same thing.”

A pause begins, but before it can truly get anywhere Ernst fills it with nervous babbling.

“I-I mean not that it’s bad if you don’t want to actually date me! Not to say I don’t want you to, because I do—I mean I really want you to, but we all want different things! Isn’t that what makes life so great? That we’re all so different? I certainly lo—“

“Ernst, please, it’s fine,” Hanschen smiles coolly and takes a drink of his coffee, thinking. “I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted when we first started seeing each other, I will admit that. Well--” he pauses, tilting his head to the side. “No, that’s not right, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to sleep with you, is all.”  
Ernst blushes and averts his gaze.

“Not to say that that didn’t change rather quickly, however.” Hanschen smirks in that classy beautiful asshole way he does and tentatively reaches across the table to take Ernst’s thin hand.

Ernst nods slowly. “Okay…” A deep breath. “See, I just—I get attached easily. That’s just who I am. I’ve never been able to do the whole ‘one-night stand’ thing before and I don’t know why I thought it would be any different with you.” A frown this time. His voice softens. “I didn’t want it to be different with you, though. What I wanted was for you to get just as attached as me.”

Everything within Hanschen was screaming at him. Just tell him! Tell him you reciprocate! Make it easy on the poor boy! We all know that’s not how this works, though. Instead, Hanschen settles back in his chair, examining Ernst to the point where the other boy begins to feel as if he is a specimen under a microscope.

“Oh my God, please just say something.”

Hanschen’s concentration breaks as he laughs freely. “My apologies. Just trying to properly think everything through—“

“Look, if you really need to think that much, maybe the answer should just be no and you should just move on. I don’t… I don’t want to force you into doing anything you don’t want.” Ernst sighs and steadies himself. “I don’t want you to go into something like that with a sense of resentment.”

The blond quirks an eyebrow, a smile playing at his lips. “You’re being quite pessimistic for someone who’s normally such a ray of sunshine, Ernst,”  
“It’s not like you’re making this very easy on me!” Ernst huffs, taking a quick drink. “It’s hard to think positively when you’re sitting over there like that, all dark and brooding!” Ernst gestures with his cup, nearly spilling.

Hanschen laughs again, reaching over and taking Ernst’s hand back once more. He takes a deep breath and sobers himself before beginning. “Point taken. That being said… I want to try this seriously, Ernst. I think some part of me has known that from the first night. If I’m too much of an asshole you’re free to get rid of me, but—,”

The sentence barely leaves his lips before his words are replaced with Ernst’s mouth as the taller boy leans across the table, nearly knocking down both of their drinks.

Realizing that they are in public Ernst quickly retracts back to his seat, face red. “Sorry! Sorry I just—” He giggles softly. “Okay. Okay, good. This is good.”

Hanschen nods and returns the smile. “Good indeed.”


End file.
